As I trollop through this pandemic maze, I find myself wondering where is God? What in the world is going on? Has evil and darkness won the war and are we all doomed to be taken over by an even more destructive force over time? I think not. I do, however, believe darkness has somehow been allowed to loom over our cities and our lives but isn’t that how it always works? We see it in our action movies, and read about it books; the bad guys create a sinister plan to take over and unleash their diabolical scheme. In the beginning, you find many casualties until The Resistance bands together. We have seen it on screen a thousand times, so I think we know how this ends.
These uneasy times have challenged me to take a closer look at my own life. It seems for me no matter how hard I work, I continuously run into financial resistance. I can point to at least four instances in my life where finances were blown from under my feet. So thanks to COVID-19, I find myself, yet again, in the same predicament. No matter how hard I work at getting things back in balance the next wave of destruction hits. Honestly, at this point it is wearying.
It’s like a monotonous never ending cycle. There must be somewhere to lay the blame and I’m always first on the list. Surely, I must be doing something wrong. The first thing I do is fall into a cycle of self condemnation replaying every penny I felt I shouldn’t have spent. I was taught, budget your money, pay your tithes, give offerings and all will be well. Well, I’m here to inform you, I’ve done all of the above, and somehow face this enemy time and time again. I find myself at the end of the personal tyrant exhausted realizing that if I’d saved all those pennies it still would not be enough.
Then, after I finally stop beating myself up, here come the voices. The voices that come to reinforce my personal smash fest. They come in all shapes and sizes from every direction to reassure round two of my personal tirade. These voices mean well but are somehow blinded to their own need to feel superior and affirmed in their security. So from their seated positions they cause more harm than good.
So I’m back and forth in my mind looking for a pattern. Frustrated, I’m seeking God because this enemy, called lack, wants me to charge God with treason. His voice slyly dares me to charge the one who loves me most. These new voices cause the already growing winds of opposition to grow. Before I know it I’m in full doubt questioning myself and warring with thoughts of doubting God. Over time, I’ve learned that God is good and wants the best for me and he never deserves the charge of guilty but I get an A+ in self mutilation.
As I search for hope I’m reminded of the scripture in John 9:3 the same question is asked. The disciples run across a man that is blind and ask, Who sinned? The response is profound, “Neither this man nor his parents.” “ This happened that the works of the Lord might be displayed in him.” John 11 speaks of Lazarus’ death. Jesus says in verse 4, “ This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s son may be glorified through it.
God needed a place for his glory to be shown in the earth. John 9:25 says, “ Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know.” “ One thing I do know.” “ I was blind but now I see!” In this passage the onlookers are now charging Jesus with the sin of healing on the Sabbath day. The man refuses to get into the details but responds with the truth, “I was blind but now I see.” Notice that when the onlookers saw something that didn’t fit their paradigm, whether it was the lame being healed or Jesus healing on the sabbath, they automatically charged who they assumed was guilty. The very redeemer of all sin was walking amongst them yet they could not see beyond their belief system. Sometimes it can be very difficult to see God in what we consider a helpless situations but Jesus came specifically for these scenarios. In Mark 2:17 Jesus says, “ It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Sometimes although we are Christians and love God there are areas of our lives that are sick and in need of a saviour.
In the book “Spirit Wars” by Kris Valloton he shares a story that still resounds loudly. He and his wife owned a business and were ready to sell the business and move to Redding, California to become a part of Bethel’s ministry. Somehow the deal fell through and they found themselves in great debt. They went to the leadership and informed them of what happened and planned to move back to the city in which they had come. The leader’s response still warms my heart. They said, “Will you stay for a while and allow us to pray for a miracle to resolve your situation.” Kris’ response was. “Yes, but I don’t have any faith in what you are about to do.” The leader’s response was, “I do.” Needless to say, a miracle was performed and they were released from their debt. God’s glory was displayed.
Lastly, in the movie “Miracles from Heaven” the mother of a very ill daughter was desperate for her daughter to be healed. She sought out several doctors, exhausted the family funds and through her own truth declared she didn’t have any faith. She just wanted her daughter healed. That’s how many of us are today. We just want our life and finances back to normal. There’s just one problem. God is looking for a place to display His glory, his way.
After several failed attempts to find a cure the family finally took a break and went home. In the movie the little girl falls into a hollow tree and is assumed dead. You can only imagine the horror this family felt. They had just taken all the equity out of their house to start a family business when the daughter got sick and drained the family finances. Stress loomed and faith was nowhere to be found. Now, this very ill child falls three stories inside a tree.
It was at that moment the mother found her faith and became desperate for God’s intervention. She clung to the tree and cried out to God. At that moment she didn’t need her daughter healed, she needed God. God already had it set for her daughter to be healed. He only needed her fatih to activate the miracle which displayed His glory.
The child was removed and later found to have absolutely no injuries. The child spoke of a visitation to heaven where God told her she needed to return and she would be healed. He had found a place for His glory to be displayed. This true story not only affected the local community but is now a movie shown all over the world releasing faith to all who view it.
During these difficult times I hear the Lord saying, “Will you allow my glory to be displayed?” Many of us are finding ourselves with our backs against the wall while others are blessed to maintain during this difficult time. I feel that through all of these whirlwinds God is looking for hearts not just desperate for relief but desperate for relief God’s way. You need a miracle and God is looking for a place for his glory to be made known.
So I say if you find yourself in a struggle during this pandemic, I challenge you to let go of your efforts and surrender your desire to a higher power, to the one who knows the answer and is looking for a place for his glory to be displayed. If you find yourself maintaining, then give God the glory and look for those who are struggling and be that community of support. Create prayer groups to surround the broken and give them the strength to release and allow God glory to be displayed. May God’s glory find a place to rest in us.
Author: Petrina Milan